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Post by Sasha Davis on Dec 23, 2008 0:20:37 GMT -6
Sasha walked up onto the roof and turned on the lights that were up there. She smiled as she saw the dim little twinkle lights in the plants and the ones strung around the roof. It had a warm and inviting feeling about it. She shivered and wondered why she had chose to leave the house in this dress. It was for summer not fall, but she was not thinking when she walked out of the house she has just needed to get out of the house and clear her head. She had walked until she found herself here.
It was her favorite place and the place she always went to think and to try and clear her head. She walked over and got a soft warm blanket out of the cabinet and wrapped it around her as she walked over to one of the shays and sat down on it. She placed a hand on her still flat belly and wondered what she was going to do.
She was pregnant and the father of her baby was not her boyfriend's. Her and Jason had not slept together in over three months. Her baby belonged to Marcus Rodriguez her Mythology teacher. She head never meant to fall for Marcus but she had. She tried to fight it and then the day of the school shooting when the had been trapped in his office they had made love.
She had not seen him much since the day because after it was over she had found out that her brother in law was dead. Her sister was devastated and had went into labor. So she had been taking care of her sister and her niece Hannah. She didn't have much free time since that day. Alexis was drifting further and further way. She was scared that she was going to lose her sister and she left like Marcus was avoiding her also. She tried to talk to him after class but he always told her had to do something and would leave as fast as he could.
So she decided to give him his space. She was trying to figure out her feelings for him and take care of her sister and Hannah and it was not easy. She was hardly sleeping. She was barley eating and when she did eat she just got sick. She knew that she had lost some weight and that was not good right now with her being pregnant. She didn't know what to do.
She sighed as she pulled her phone and texted Marcus again and asked him to meet her here but she didn't think it would to any good. She didn't think he would come. And right now she needed to see him. She needed him to hold her. She had only known him about four months how. Since he moved here and started to teach and yet she thought about him all the time. She never thought about of felt for Jason what she felt for Marcus and it scared the hell out of her. She closed her phone and sat it down beside her and drew her legs up to her chest and laid her head on them as she left the tears finally start to fall. She let out a sob that she had been holding in ever since all of this started. She had never been then scared of felt this alone before and she didn't know what to do about it.
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Post by Mark Rodriguez on Dec 23, 2008 0:35:33 GMT -6
Marcus had been aimlessly walking around the campus when he heard his phone go off. He sighed quitely and pulled it out of his pocket. He looked at her and scratched his head gently before opening it and reading the text he had just recieved. He smiled slightly though at the irony that the one person that he had been thinking about had texted him, asking him to meet her on the roof.
Still, he sighed. He knew that he had some explaining to do. She probably thought that he was avoiding her, but the truth was, he was just confused. He had been thinking about everything that had happened between them two months ago. In fact, it was pretty much all he had been thinking about.
He slowly made his way to the roof. He opened the door quitely. He saw her back to him and gasped lightly. She was even more beautiful then he had remembered. Not that he hadn't seen her since that night, he just kind of made it a point not to look at her that long.
Marcus closed the door quitely behind him. "Sasha?" He asked quitely as he took a step closer to her and into the light glow of all the lights around the roof. He took in the sight of her and exhaled lightly. The light was shining lightly, causing her cheeks to have a slight gold to them. He sighed and tore his gaze from her and to the floor, unable to keep the thoughts of her out of his head. All her could think about was her and the night that they had been together. He waited for her to say something.
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Post by Sasha Davis on Dec 23, 2008 1:05:10 GMT -6
Sasha looked up at Marcus when he said her name not believing that was here or that he was real. She saw him look down as she looked up at him with tears in her eyes. "So now you can't even look at me?"She asked him as a soft sob left her lips. She wanted to get up and walk over to him and wrap her arms around his waist. She wanted him to hold her. She needed him so much right now.
She closed her eyes for a second and then opened them again. "What are we doing Mark. You can't even look at me now. Was I just some hook up for you or what?" She asked hiim almost scared to hear his answer. She slid a hand over her still flat belly under the blanket so that he could not see her do this as she looked up at him. Needed to know his answer.
She was so scared the she was going to lose him to. She just realized that she was in love with him and now she was scared that he was going to leave her two. She reach up with her other hand and wiped the tears from her face as she looked down when he did not answer her right a way. She didn't know how to do any of this. She was so worried she was going to mess it all up.
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Post by Mark Rodriguez on Dec 23, 2008 1:30:16 GMT -6
Marcus sighed as he heard her speak. He knew that she was going to say something like this, but it shocked him again. He sighed and slowly brought his gaze back up to her, shaking his head slowly as he did so.
"No," Marcus told her. "I can't look at you." He heard her intake of breath as he continued. "I can't look at you because everytime I look at you I remember that night and everything comes back." He took a step closer to her. "And it brings back all my feelings for you that I shouldn't have."
He sighed as he looked down for a minute. He returned his gaze back up to her. "And your not just some hook up Sasha." He told her. "I just...I don't know what to do. All my logic tells me to stay away from you, to forget you, but I can't. I keep thinking about that night and how much it meant to me and how much I don't want to forget about it."
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Post by Sasha Davis on Dec 23, 2008 1:48:59 GMT -6
Sasha felt her heart start to speed up as she listened to him talk. When he said he could not look at her, her heart about broke but then he kept on talking. She felt like there might be hope for them yet. She got up and walked over into the light and looked up at him. She knew that her eyes were swollen and puffy from crying and that she had dark circles under them from not sleeping or eating.
She placed a hand on his chest and looked up at him. "And you don't think I have not thought the same thing. I think about the afternoon all the time. I can't get it out of my head Mark. I remember all of it. The way you tasted, the way your skin felt again mine. The feel of your body again me and in me. I remember it all. I have dreamed about is over and over again when I can sleep." She said a she broke eye contact for him for a minute and looked down at his chest as she took a deep breath and looked up at again. "I can't fight what I am feeling for you Mark and I don't want to. I have never felt like this before." She told him hoping she was not making a fool out of herself.
"I don't want to forget that night I will never be able to forget that night. I will always have a reminder of that day. We both will." She said trying to find the right words to tell him about the baby but she was so scared the he would freak out. "I don't want fight what I am feeling for you Mark. I am in love with you." She said quietly scared the what she was saying would scare him off two.
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Post by Mark Rodriguez on Dec 23, 2008 2:03:10 GMT -6
Marcus looked over at her as she began to walk over to him and he looked at her with wide eyes as she placed a hand on his chest. He listened to her talk and his mind tried to digest the new information it was recieving along with images of that night popping into his head repeatedly. He shuddered gently as the full afternoon began to play in his mind. He looked down at her for a minte before averting his gaze.
"What about your boyfriend?" He asked suddenly when she finished. "And the fact that if anyone finds out, you could get kicked out and I could get fired. What about the fact that I am twelve years older than you? What would people say?" He said, voicing all the concerns that popped into his head whenever he thought about being more than just friends with her.
He sighed, resisting the urge to just wrap his arms around her waist and kissing all her worries away. He wanted to be with her so much that it hurt to even think about. She was the reason he stayed awake at night, not able to get her out of her mind enough to actuallly sleep. And whenever he did sleep, she would pop into his mind and all his worried would resurface. God, it drove him nuts how much he wanted to be with her.
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Post by Sasha Davis on Dec 23, 2008 2:31:51 GMT -6
Sasha almost stepped way from his as she listened to him talk. Tears filling her eyes again. It hurt to hear him talk. To hear what he said. Maybe she was wrong maybe he didn't want her like she wanted him. Maybe she had just made a fool of she self after all. She reach up and wiped the tears from her face.
She shook her head and looked up into his eyes letting him see all the hurt she was feeling. "Jason and I are over we have been for a while now. I was just to scared to admit it to my self. We are friends and that is it. Hell at this point I don't even know if we are friends. I have hardly talked to him since the school shooting." She said as she ran a hand through her hair and thought about the other things that he head said to her.
She sighed she didn't care about the age difference or what people thought. "Mark I don't care about the age difference or that people think. After what we have all be through this last two months. Life is two short to worry about age and what others think." She said trying to keep from crying all over again. She closed her eyes again and fought to get her emotions under control.
She looked up at him again when she was sure that she was not going to cry again. "As for school my family has way to much clout with the school for them to kick me out and I don't think the Dean Edwards wants to lose any more teachers right now. I am sure Uncle John will understand after all his wife was his student at one time. But we can talk to him. I don't think with everything that has happened lately that he will have to big of problem with it." She told him knowing that she was right. John Edwards was not her real uncle but he was her fathers best friend and like a father to her and Alexis. He was 10 years older then his wife and she had been his student when they met an fall in love. Not only that but her family was one of the founding family's of Haven and Haven University. Her sister was in on the board of the school. She didn't see the rest of the school board going against her sister of Dean Edwards.
She sighed and took a step back from him when he did not answer her. She let the blanket fall to the shays as she threw her hands up in the air. "Do you really think you can walk way from this now Mark? I have tired to stay away from you and I can't." She said as she looked up and he and let him see the want and need in her eyes. "I have tired Mark but I can't stay way from you. Tell me you don't love me, tell me that you don't want me and that you don't think about making love to me, tell me that you don't want this and I will talk way Mark. I don't know how but I will." She said praying that she was not making a fool out of herself that he wanted her and was in love with her. She stepped up to him again and reach up and placed a hand on his face. "Tell me to walk way Mark." She said as she leaned up and kissed him.
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Post by Mark Rodriguez on Dec 23, 2008 18:04:17 GMT -6
Marcus looked up at her and saw the tears in her eyes. He immedietly wanted to kick himself and take back what he said. He listened to her talk about how she broke up with her boyfriend and about how she didn't care what people would think. He continued to watch her and listen as she went on about her Uncle John and the school board.
He looked down when she put him on the spot, asking him if he loved her. He closed his eyes for a moment. He took a deep breath and let it out slowly before returning his gaze up to her. "I..." He paused, thinking about how to say the next part. Finally he just decided he had to come out and say it.
"I love you Sasha. And it scares the shit out of me," He told her, "I can't tell you to walk away because the truth is I need to see you. I can't stand it when I don't see you. You make the days worth living." He looked up at her again. "And I can't stand here and tell you that I don't think about making love to you when the truth is, I have thought of nothing else since that afternoon. I dream about holding you in my arms and waking up to you in the morning. God, I think about you all the time and it scares me. I haven't felt this way my whole entire life. Not even when I was married."
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Post by Sasha Davis on Dec 23, 2008 23:15:49 GMT -6
Sasha felt the tears start to spill again as she listened to him talk. She was thought he was going to tell her that he didn't love her when he didn't kiss her back when she tired to kiss him. She looked up into his eyes. "I need to see you to Mark. I love you and I can't stand being away from you. You are all I think about. The first thing I think about it the morning and the last at night when I go to bed. I dream about you in my sleep when I can sleep and wake up calling out for you." She said stepping closer to him. "I don't want to spend another night with you Mark. I love you."She said to him as she placed her a hand over his heart. "I am scared to Mark. I am so scared that I am going to lose you like my sister lost Chris and i don't think I could stand that. I am scared that I won't be good enough for you. I am scared that you will wake and and realize that you don't want me." She said wondering why any one would want her when her own parents didn't. But she was not going to think about that right now. She sighed as she looked up into his brown eyes. "I am scared two, I have ever felt like this before either and I don't ever want to feel like this about any one again but you." She said wanting to lean up and kiss him but scared that he would pull away from her again. "I love you Mark and that is all that matters right now." She said to him wondering how to tell him about the baby. She needed to tell him about the baby. But then she scared to do that also.
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Post by Mark Rodriguez on Dec 23, 2008 23:25:29 GMT -6
Mark looked down at her when he saw that she began to cry. He reached up and wiped the tears from her eyes. He finally gave into his urge and wrapped his arms around her, pulling her to him. "Shhh, don't cry Sasha," He breathed into her hair as he began to run his hand through her hair. "Don't cry." He smiled lightly when he heard her talk about how she loved him and how she thought about him all the time. He kissed the top of her head gently and looked at her. "You are not going to lose me Sasha," He told her, "I am not going anywhere. There is no reason to be scared because I am not going to leave you." He pulled away slightly and looked down at her. "And never doubt yourself Sasha. You are an amazing person. YOu are smart and beautiful. You are every men's dream. Never think that you are not good enough because you are good enough."
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Post by Sasha Davis on Dec 24, 2008 0:33:12 GMT -6
Sasha smiled up through her tears as him as she leaned into his hand. When he pulled her into his arms she laid her head on is chest and closed her eyes and listened to the sound of his heart beat and listened to him talk. When he pulled back she looked up at him. "I have to tell you something else. But please don't hate me."She said pulling away from him and walking over away from him a little as she collected her thoughts and thought about how she was going to tell him. She was scared he was going to tell her to get rid of the baby. That he didn't want children or that it was so soon. She took a deep breath and turned and looked at him. "I can't help but feel that I am going to lose you and this might be a deal breaker. Mark I am pregnant. Two months to be exact." She said as she placed a hand on her belly and bit her lip as she waited to see how he would react to the news. "I didn't mean for this to happen please believe that."She said in fear that he might think that she got pregnant on purpose.
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Post by Mark Rodriguez on Dec 24, 2008 0:49:52 GMT -6
Mark pulled back slightly and looked at her. "I could never hate you Sasha," He told her as he kissed the top of her head gently. He watched her as she let go of him and walked towards the chairs. He took a step towards her carefully and watched her. He took a deep breath when she told him that she was two months pregnant. He closed his eyes for a minute as all the memories of why he had gotten divorced and a bunch of thoughts ran through his head. He opened his eyes after a moment and looked at her. "Your pregnant?" He repeated. He let the words sink in for a moment. "I am not going to tell you to get rid of the baby, and I am not going to abandon you. It might be a little soon, but I have always wanted kids," he looked at her for a minute, "And don't blame yourself Sasha. You weren't the only person there when this happened." He walked over to her and placed his hands on her shoulders. "It will be okay Sasha."
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Post by Sasha Davis on Dec 24, 2008 1:05:08 GMT -6
Sasha looked up at him and nodded her head when he asked if she was pregnant. "Yes and I want to keep the baby. It is a part of you and me. Two souls in one. I can't get rid of our baby Mark." She said to him as she looked down at the ground not able to look at him again. Her head did snap up when he said the he wanted children and that he would not make her get rid of the baby or leave her. She left hopeful for the first time since all of this started. She laughed a little when he said she was not the only one there when this happened as memories of that day come rushing into her head. "I would most definitely say not." She said as she blushed a little as she looked up at him. Only to see him right in front of her she relaxed as he placed a hand on her shoulder. She placed her hands on his waist and looked up at him. "So you want this baby two?" She ask him as she leaned into him. She wanted to wrap her arms around his waist and just have him hold her. She needed to feel his arms around her.
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Post by Mark Rodriguez on Dec 24, 2008 12:58:52 GMT -6
Mark laughed lightly and nodded at her. "I would hope that you weren't the only one there either. Because that would be slightly wierd and disturbing if you were." He laughed again as he looked at her. He nodded his head at her. "Yeah, I want this baby too," He told her. He reached up and rubbed her cheek gently with his thumb. He leaned down and kissed the top of her head again. He looked down at her again and wrapped his arms gently around her. He kissed her head again. "I couldn't ask you to get rid of it nor could I just abandon the baby or you. Not that I would anyway."
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Post by Sasha Davis on Dec 29, 2008 16:23:49 GMT -6
Sasah laughed smiled up at him. "Yes it would be weird." She said to him as she pulled back and looked up at him. Relived that he wanted the baby two. She was so scared he didn't want her to get rid of the baby and that he wanted the baby as much as she does. "I don't think I could have gotten rid of the baby even if you wanted me two." She said to him as she placed a hand on her still flat belly. She thought about all that they had been throught and what they has lost.
"I could not stand to lose something else that I love right now. And I love our baby already and I don't want to give it up." She said to him as she thought about her sister and what she was going through right now. "This is the only thing that feels right, right now. I love you and again I love our baby. I am glad you want to be a part of it. But how are we going to do this."She said not wanting to be away from him right now but not quite sure what he wanted from this. "Where to we go from here Mark?" She asked him as she took a step back and sat down on the shays. She patted the spot behind her hoping he would sit down behind he so that she could lay back in his arms and they could talk.
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